"Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it"

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Post op

The surgeon came in and sat with me in the waiting room and told me if he wakes up it went perfect. He woke up.

No one could have prepared me to see my baby boy after surgery. I walked into the room and lost it. I was standing only because God was holding me up under my arms. He had an iv and the iv arm was bandaged to his elbow, the feeding tube was huge I thought and had 2 stitches holding it in and a tube coming out of that had a bag attached to it with contained stomach stuff, yuck. He had his belly button all taped up. There was dried blood on his fingers and wrist and around the button. There was a nurse in the room. I didnt want to blubber but I couldnt hold it in, everything came out. She ask me if I wanted to hold him and I was terrified I would hurt him. I sat down and was handed my baby. That was when I just couldnt deal. The tears came and there was no hiding it. I had baptized my baby in tears.

Thoughts were rushing through my mind and I blurted out, I shouldnt have done this, what have I done I am so so sorry. The nurse was kind. She told me that in a few days Noah wouldnt even know he had a button. I dont believe her. I continued to cry all over Noah and then I felt something I havent felt in a long time. I felt my Daddy with His arms around me and Noah holding us and we both breathed very easily and peacefully and the tears stopped and there was calm. Oh how He loves me. Why I dont know but He does. I stayed there in His arms at peace and Noah slept quietly and comfortably. He stopped fussing and we were both safe in the arms of Jesus.

After about 15 minutes I had to put Noah in his crib so we could wheel him up to his room. We got in his room and everyone has been very nice. I ran down to buy food vouchers and now can have food delivered to my room so I never have to leave him. The couch turns into two full size beds. When we got up here Noah started to wake up screaming every 5 minutes like clockwork. I felt so bad, I didnt know how to help so I sang to him. He calmed down hearing worship songs so I turned on klove on my computer and he didnt wake up screaming anymore. He in fact is still sleeping peacefully. He even let me cover him with the blanket.

for they(His Word) are life to those who find them
and health to a man's whole body.
Proverbs 4:22

Be blessed


1 comment:

  1. Worship music is the best soother, it brings peace. I'm so glad that Noah is ok. I will continue to pray, but I think he'll be fine.