"Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it"

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

All in God's time.

I am the type of person that when asked or called to do something or even gets an idea I have to execute it as soon as possible! The faster the better in my opinion. I was thrilled (as well as scared, nervous, questioning) that God called Paul and I to adopt and that Paul's heart was finally on the same page. So I said ok God lets do this!

Waiting is not for me. Anyone that really knows me knows I am speaking the truth here, haha. I felt like I had to rush rush rush to bring our daughter home and fulfill what God has ask of us. It has only been over the last week that I have realized I may have deadlines but so does God. And they may not be the same dates.

The adoption agency said to hurry hurry hurry so I did. We expedited all the papers we could, passports and homestudy. We notarized all we could as quickly as we could. They told us in order to work around my schedule I would have to have everything in by January 31st 2010. They gave us the papers to have turned in and completed on 12/24/09. Not much time at all to complete a whole Dossier. Let me explain a little about what is involved in the Dossier.

You need:
4 applications for registrations 2 from each parent
4 Request to adopt forms
4 Application #1
4 power of attorney
2 USCIS Approval form
6 State Police Checks (only valid in Russia for 3 months)
4 Child Abuse Clearances (only valid in Russia for 3 months)
4 Original Marriage Certificates
2 Rental Agreements
2 Medical Certificates for first trip
Doctor's License
2 Medical Certificates for individuals over 13
Doctors Letter for signing medical certificate
Doctors Letter for children under 13
The Ministry of Public Health Medical Document Form
a. completing in usa
b completing in russia
2 copies of the Psych Eval
2 Certificate of assets
2 Employment letters
8 passport copies
10 pages of pictures (5 for each dossier) of family and home
2 Familys commitment letter to provide post adoptions
2 Familys commitment letter to provide register child
Regional requirements
Social worker agency docs

Some of the stuff we can do ourselves but a lot of it is relying on others to complete what they have to. Turns out to be around 80 documents that need to be notarized, certified and apostilled. After I thought the 31st would be a bust to get the papers in I thought about the 5th of Feb. This too I think may not work now. I am not freaking out like I thought I would be.

I prayed and was talking to God and said Lord I know this will be in your timing and that is fine. It is. Paul says God has a reason for the date that He has in mind. It sometimes is hard to wait and realize that Faith is over there and she has no idea who we are or that we are trying to come for her. That we love her. That God loves her. That soon she will have a new life, a hope and a future, her birth right given to her.But for now we wait.

The doctors office lost the forms we had to have them fill out so after a week they found them it took 2 weeks to fill them out and I dont know how but they put the wrong address on the one form so now it needs redone. The adoption agency has once again set ridiculous deadlines to have some part of the dossier that the other caseworker fills out to be done by THIS Friday. The agency here said they couldnt meet that deadline but could meet it by next Tuesday. I need to look at everything and figure out what else needs done.

I really want this done fast for several reasons. The documents and clearances in Russia are only good 3 months so if they expire before we travel we have to do them again and then again before the court date. This is a butt load of money. I just am standing on the promises of God. I dont know when but our daughter will come home.

Some upcoming events are

Spaghetti Dinner at Monroeville Assembly of God Church
Feb 26th 2010
There is no cost for this event but a love offering will be taken to help our adoption costs. There is a page on Facebook for this event where you can mark if you will attend or not.

Please continue to pray for us. We need to raise more money for the adoption but we firmly believe that will come when it needs to.

Pray that Paul gets a job.

Pray that we can somehow get a working vehicle. Ours is not reliable anymore. Yesterday will Paul and I ran into the house for a minute the van slipped out of park and ended up in the garage, it hit the snowblower but that was it. We were all very upset. Also just over the last week a hole has appeared in our door. :( We want to get a new (new to us) van but hesitate to spend any money at all because of the adoption.

Pray for Faith that God continues to heal her and that she is not afraid and well taken care of until we can get her. Pray she is fed when hungry, changed when needed and warm.

Pray for all the orphans that they find their place in this world and the family they belong to.

I just wanted to thank all of our friends and family supporters. You guys have helped us get through so much. I am amazed at how you have rallied to our side in our time of need. Thank you all so much.


Friday, January 22, 2010

Deadline looks like a bust....

So we had a deadline of Jan31st of when we wanted and needed to have the dossier in looks like it may come and go without us being done. Still hoping and praying for a miracle.

A little about whats going on....

We need to get 72 documents apostilled in Harrisburg. We called the state place to ask if we could please have some kind of discount. They said no. They said they have never heard of having to have so many documents apostilled. Paul called the adoption agency and they told us why we had to have so many. So now we need 1100.00 just to get papers signed.

Paul's birth certificate is still not here. It is stuck in Georgia for 5 weeks before they will complete it. Dont ask me why. If it doesnt come until then all our clearances will have expired and it will cost us a fortune to redo them all. So.....

We need an accountant to write a paper for us about our finances. Anyone know of a free one?

God can make this happen by next week, He can! Can we just ask for some prayer, please.

Please pray that all of the paperwork gets done in God's timing but preferably Jan 31st. That God would keep our daughter strong and healthy and continue to progress as well as she has been lately. That the time from now until we see her is short. That God would provide the finances to get this all done. That God would give Paul and I strength. Some days we laugh others we cry it is such a roller coaster we are on right now.

I just want to bring her home and treat her the way she deserves not the way they are. She needs held and loved on.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Fundraiser updates

So far we have had one avon fundraiser that has finished and one book party finished.

Our Avon fundraiser brought in 200.00 towards our adoption. Thank you so much Robin for doing the fundraiser and all who participated in it. That is a huge amount of money that is taken off of our bill now.

Usbourne books brought in 30.00 toward our adoption. Thank you so much Merissa for all your work in this fundraiser. Every little bit counts and this will really really help.

We still have t shirts for sale where proceeds will go toward our adoption cost. Also we have our website where you can donate directly. We may have a few more fundraisers in the works. We shall see. Thank you all so much.

Saturday, January 16, 2010


Yes thats right folks you heard it correctly our homestudy has been approved! I cant tell you how much I dreaded todays appointment. I was scared beyond words. All I can say is Well geeze thats it? Insert big sigh of relief here. lol.

So now that we are approved we will start the grant applications to see if by some miracle we can get a few grants to help pay. We still have without paying for travel, hotel or paperwork 15,300 to pay. I hope all you reading will donate to help bring our daughter home. I hope you will continue to keep us in your prayers and you will tell everyone you know about our group on facebook and our website where they can continue to donate and read updates on our adoption.

Thanks so much for all the love and support.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

UPDATE on Faith

This was written to us today about our daughter. Thank you Jesus!

"Baby can open eyes and she does, little by little she opens up them more and more. She try to focus on objects. Then i move other there - the most of the time she sleeps/sleepy, thats why on pictures she has eyes closed. She wears a hearing devices 3 times a day now for some time, we give her to listen the music - she likes it and it makes her smile. She started babbles more and more, walks more in a walker and plays with the toys. She can sit up, but still sometimes somebody have to help her. But then she in the crib - i guess she feels more comfortable and safe, she crawls, gets her tush up and stands on hand and legs. She is more calm, soft spot get closed up. But she need to see neurologist and be under attention of parents. In my opinion, her delays can be resolved , but in DD nobody will take their time with her needs. All hopes just of the parents. Unfortunately, in this DD staff thinks its too much is they will take kids and play with them. They take baby on their lap only if its feeding time or inhalations or time for massage. Its hard to explain that kids needs more love/attention then they will start developing much faster. They do take care of her, dont get me wrong, but they are not parents. She develops as any other average child from DD which is good, but i wanted to see more. I will take camera with me next time, i hope she wouldn't be sleepy."

7000 is the amount needed by Jan 31st

That isn't in Rubbles either. We need 7000. 00 to continue on to the next phase which is visiting our daughter and signing a paper saying we do want her. After that I have no doubts that I could get some kind of grant to pay for the rest.

7000 seems like a lot of money and for one person it is. For 7000 people all that would mean is 1.00 per person. That is less than a bottle of water out of a vending machine. Can you go without a soda or bottle of water or a candy bar just once?

I guess I feel even more desperate because of the new pictures we received of our daughter. She looked really bad. They were shoving food down her throat while she was sleeping and it didnt look like she was swallowing. I just want to have this all done and have her here getting the care she needs. They arent putting her hearing aids in either. At least they arent on any pictures of her. The doctor says that is not good. She needs to be wearing them all the time or at least most of the time so she can develop her hearing.

So I sit here writing because its all I can do. I have no way of coming up with 7000. I have no way of going to Russia right now and feeding her myself or holding her, hugging her, loving on her. I wonder if she has ever had a hug. Her thinning hair seems to be a sign she is kept in a crib a lot. The back of her head seems flat too. I look at my Avenley and I kiss her cheeks all the time. My lips are all over her face. I pretend to bite her chin and she giggles. Such a beautiful sound. I wonder...has Faith ever giggled? Has she ever felt a kiss? Has anyone ever told them they love her?

I sit here and type because its all I can do. I want so much to be showing faith all she is missing by spending all day in her crib. I want to tell her the story Goodnight Moon. I want to tell her about the day she came into our lives. I want to read to her I love you forever. I want to cover her up in her warm fuzzy red blanket, stick her pacifier in her mouth and rock her to sleep. I want to dress her and Avenley alike. I want to see my 5 daughters playing and laughing together. I want to brush her hair....has she ever had her hair brushed? Has anyone ever put a bow in that beautiful red hair of hers?

I wonder...has she ever eaten a banana? Has her hand ever been held? Has she ever ridden in a car or carried in a backpack? Has she ever felt a carpet? Does she know that Paul and I are trying to come and get her? Does she know we have expedited all we can to move this forward as fast as possible to bring her here to our home where she belong? Does she feel God's love? Can she feel my love for her? Does she know that Somewhere out there,beneath the pale moonlight,
someone's thinking of her and loving her tonight. Does she know Somewhere out there, someone's saying a prayer,that we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there.

Has she ever felt a song? Has she ever had her tears wiped from her eyes, I wonder? Has she ever smiled? I wonder what she smells like and how I can keep that smell with me when we are not together. I wonder how many days it will be until I feel her heaviness in my arms and whisper, "I am your mama and I love you" in her ear.

Please pray for us.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Homestudy part 1 done

So yesterday we had the first part of the homestudy done. Yay!! Only almost threw up twice. She spent 4 hours with us. I thought how crazy it is that by asking us about our families and seeing our house all spotless, which is a rareity with 4 kids, could somehow prove us to be fit parents.

I think she probably figured we stuffed our closets full of everything and it doesnt really look like this. I left one clothes basket out so she didnt think we were hiding anything. We werent, but I mean a house with four girls is not ever going to look like it did yesterday 2 days in row, ha!

About a minute after she was here Sarie decided to crumble her cookies all over the floor. Yay! Then halfway into the home study Sarie and Avenley decide that a spitting contest would be fun. So AJ fills her mouth with milk from her sippy and Sarie fills her mouth with water from her sippy and I hear it PPPPTTTTHHHHH! Water and milk fly through the air and I dont know whether to laugh or cry. After numerous polite attempts by me to get them to stop and some from their father they continue this now really fun game very close to the caseworker. I thought she either thinks we have no control over our kids or I dunno what. What I wanted to do is tell them was "So help me if you dont stop that right now Im gonna beat you purple!" Mind you I have never nor will ever beat my children. However I did refrain.

The kids decided that talking was some pretty boring stuff and they wanted to go outside so we let them. I still dont know if that was a good idea or not because we never once checked on them. What must she think of us. I mean they were in an enclosed backyard but still....

They came inside and it was time to look around the house. Charidy decides this would be a perfect time to demonstrate that Trin's bed can double and a jungle gym safety hazard. I cringe. Really...Really! We walk into the Alaska room and there on the top of the fireplace is my bbgun. CRAP! I know she saw it. She didnt say a word. I wondered should I? Maybe she missed it. Sarie trashed Faith's room 5 minutes before the woman goes in there so we did a major clean up then let her in.

During some of the questions it got so loud in here with the younger 2 screaming. She ask what Paul and I do when we fight, how we resolve conflict and I blurted out before thinking, " I slap him around and tell him I am right until he agrees with me." Immediatly realizing what I had said and that it wasnt to a friend but rather a government worker deciding on whether or not to give us a child. Really Ashlee, Really?!!!

It was finally over, I felt like I could breath. She was putting her shoe on when she reaches in and pulls out a banana that one of our children put in her shoe. I am so glad God has a sense of humor! She will be back for another visit Saturday.

Some other adoption news we found out that Faith's birthday is Feb 5th. Yay!!! I can not tell you what a relief that is to know her exact birthday. Makes her seem more real I think. Ok so prayer time....

Please pray that by some miracle that we receive 1500.00 by Saturday for the homestudy. Pray that the homestudy is approved and fast. That the dossier comes together and is approved and we can get a travel date.
Also always pray for our daughter Faith and the workers that work with her. Pray for the orphans all over the world that they would receive the best care and find forever families.
Paul found a really great job opportunity just pray he is hired there before Saturday.

Praise reports.....

I got my passport!
We got the money to get Paul's passport expedited.
State Police checks came back notarized a few weeks before they said they would.
Paul has some job leads so that is very cool!

Friday, January 8, 2010

Our t shirt fundraiser is here!!!

As some of you know we have a webpage called bringfaithhome.com. All of our fundraisers are there to look at. You can also donate right there, its great. The t shirt fundraiser is at http://www.adoptionbug.com/thebecksadoption/
Every shirt you buy we get a percent of. There are 4 designs. I think they look great. So please go check them out and if you feel led buy one.

More updates after Sunday. That is when we have our homestudy. Prayers are appreciated!

Saturday, January 2, 2010


Hi everyone! Happy new year! I wanted to invite you all to our fundraisers for the adoption! This is very important as I looked at the papers today and will need $5500.00(13,800 total without travel) before I travel the first time and it is important to travel asap. And that doesnt even count the travel expenses.

1st fundraiser!!
Heres the deal. My book lady said if at least 2 people book a party then all profits from the book show will go to the adoption. Isnt that so nice of her! Can you help? Book and party or buy a book or both! I know God will bless you for it!

The book show will be January 10th at 6:30 pm and KIDS ARE WELCOME! I have a separate area they can play in safely while you enjoy the show. It will be at my home so when you rsvp if you need an address ask. RSVP if you can or cant make it thanks. Bring a friend or two with you if you want. If you can't come you can still order email me for details at ashleelinnea@gmail.com

2nd Fundraiser

Pennsylvania Soy Candles are made from all natural ingredients and are a clean burning alternative to paraffin wax candles. The candles are not dyed so they are naturally creamy in color, to complement any decor. These 16oz Mason Jar Candles burn for 45-55hrs. Only 12.99 plus tax

Jan 5th-Jan 24th

The main scents are

Grandma's Kitchen
Heartwarming Vanilla
Blessed Sweet Home
Captivating Love
Hot Apple Pie
Banana Nut Bread

If there are other scents you want to know about or order then I can do that too. Let me know.

Thanks all! Please pray we have an awesome turn out and God will bless these events.