"Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it"

Sunday, January 30, 2011

When Noah Eats

Today we decided to do some therapy. We had some noodles got them nice and cool and dumped them on Noah's tray. We put them on his head and face and hands. We threw them up in the air, we kissed the noodle and touched his cheeks with them fun fun. Every time I tried to put a tiny piece in his mouth he clenched. Finally he opened a little and I stuck a very tiny piece in there. Two seconds later he vomited his feed up. In pictures this is what happens every time Noah goes to eat.

Be blessed

Why does He love us?

OH MY GOSH! The more I see the more angry I get. WHY?WHY? WHY arent we doing anything? This wouldnt be allowed here! But because its in another country it is ok, let them take care of the problem we are tired of getting involved in other countries affairs? I have herd Americans get so upset when other Americans help in another country or adopt from another country. GROW UP! Most of those people talking dont lift a finger to help fellow Americans. How does God stand us? The more I see the more I wonder why God doesn't just wipe us out again. It's love I will never understand, to love us when we sit in warms houses eating any time of day we want any food we want watching smut on TV wasting the life He gave to us, wasting the life He gave His son to die for. That is insane! We arent worthy! No wonder people have a hard time believing in God, we cant love each other or ourselves or anyone different from us so how could there be a God who does.

We Americans though we are so great we throw a 20. in the plate and go to Olive Garden for lunch and then off to Starbuck's. Go enjoy your coffee.

Thank God that women in the video documented what she did. She didnt wait for someone else to do she became the change.

Be Blessed..NO BE CHANGED! Choose to Move!

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Makes ya think.....

"Sometimes I'd like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine, and injustice in the world when He could do something about it...but I'm afraid God might ask me the same question."

Be Blessed, Be Changed, Be a Blessing

Friday, January 28, 2011

New and exciting News and 8 months home

Yesterday when I said it rains and pours and that means blessings too. I knew I was right. God is faithful and just. Last night we got the papers saying we can finalize our adoption from the adoption subsidy place. We are petitioning them to pay the attorneys fees as well. The attorney knocked over 300.00 off the price and told us that we didnt have to pay it first it was fine to have the subsidy pay it directly to them. No need in putting us out more than we already have. PTL! We even picked a date March 18th 2011 we will stand before a judge and Noah will be declared ours for keeps! Yay! We called the RV rental place and got the prices and will book soon.

The 2000. tax we were hit with was a former employers mistake and it was rectified. PTL!!!

Also Noah has been home 8 months today. Wow. How did that happen? It's weird. Some days it is like he was always here, other days I am shocked when I look at the calendar and it has been only so many months.

I hear that the first year of having a child with special needs is the hardest, maybe it is the same for adoptions. This has been a tough 8 months, but also a fabulous 8 months. I think Paul and I are both learning a lot. There are some days when I think what am I doing? But then I remember that God is in control and if I give it to Him then He will help.

I am so looking forward to heading to Texas. For Noah to have one name not 3. To have his mama and dada have the same last name without the oh, I know what she must have done looks. Or the I bet they all have different dads looks. I want to go there and feel the sun on my face, oh its been so long since I have seen the sun shine. I miss it. I want to get out of wearing many layers and bundling the kids up so you can only see their eyes. I can not wait to have 7 glorious days in an RV traveling. We are going to see the worlds biggests and other fun things. I am hoping to even see Graceland but we will see. I think my cabin fever is just taking over right now. Lol.

Oh well I am off to dream about sunny days and warm weather.

Be blessed

M needs our knees

I am asking all of you to take a knee for baby M and family. They need us to storm Heaven for them. M was born on 1/25 weighing 2.6lbs and 15.5 inches long. Her twin sister M2 is 4.6lbs 17 inches long. M has Trisomy 18. This family needs are prayers so much. Pray for peace, pray for wisdom, pray for miracles, pray for strength, complete healing on earth and God's will.

Pray for another family too, they just lost their baby. She was 14 weeks pregnant. Pray for peace and strength and that they will feel God during this time.

Also if you could pray for our family we are having some issues, sickness, financial crap, and other things.

I spoke to a good friend this morning and she said that this year she is signing all her emails and things with "Be Changed". How inspiring. I think this year I will keep that in mind and be changed and I hope you will gain inspiration from that as well.

Thank you so much.

Be blessed

Thursday, January 27, 2011

When it rains it pours

But that also means blessings too. So I wait because this to shall pass.

First, a friend of mine had twins 2 days ago. Two precious beautiful girls. They were due in March. One may have a chromosome disorder. Please pray for them.

Second, Noah is vomiting again. He is gagging all the time now. He saw the new GI dr and he upped his one medicine because he gained weight. He is 20lbs and 28.8 inches long. Yay! The doctor did schedule a new scope to test for some things that may tell us why he wont eat. They cant get him in for until the very end of May though.

Next, AJ is really sick. She has a croupy cough and a lot of phlegm. She had a fever and we gave tylenol and motrin but it didnt help. We put garlic on her feet over night and that got rid of it. Sarie is freaking out more than usual and crying even more than usual how is that even possible? She has a runny nose and its making her freak out. Trinity is laying around with a slight cough. Cherry, dare I say it, is fine so far.

Paul couldnt go to work because our new blessing, the van, will not run right. Saturday night we put gas in it at a questionable station and it hasnt run right since. He took it to a shop earlier but no work means no pay. I am very afraid he will lose his job. The van will cost about 1000. to fix and will not be ready until maybe tomorrow but most likely Monday. We have bball practice tonight Trin cant go to and then basketball pictures saturday and I had a huge 2 day shoot saturday and Sunday.

Last night while exercising I noticed that my ribs and back were hurting on my left side. Today I am doubled over in pain. I cant stand up straight. No insurance means no help. I will have to just deal with it.

Please pray for our family. Thanks so much.

Be blessed

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Prayer Requests

Please pray for a woman named Alice. She has had several miscarriages and now is pregnant again 11 weeks and they think she will be having another miscarriage soon. But our God is bigger than the doctors words, Amen! Please join me in praying for her and her family in this time. Specifically prayer for her spirit, body and baby.
Thank You!

Please also pray for Kaleb's family. Kaleb was the victim of shaken baby syndrome in 2007. I remember hearing about it right after he was shaken and we had his picture on our fridge. Well yesterday at 5pm he went to be with Jesus. Please lift up his mommy and daddy and brother in your prayers. Thank you.

Also please keep Noah in your prayers. he is once again sick and vomiting phlegm.

Thank you so much.

Be blessed

Monday, January 24, 2011

Puppy Feet

Noah has the cutest and oddest little feet. last week I noticed 2 pads on his feet. I told Paul and he said unsurprisingly, "Yeah its part of trisomy 8." Well Paul paid way more attention when we were learning about Noah than I did, I was just too smitten with my boy to listen :) I just couldnt believe for 7 months I had no idea he had them. Today his PT said that they are muscles and because he clenches his toes all day long that it built them up and they are more noticeable now. I call them his puppy pads.

See if you can see what I am talking about.

I think it is truly amazing how unique God makes us all. I can't wait until Noah is older and can tell us all about his Trisomy and how things feel. Like what do the pads feel like, do they hurt? His cleft palate, is it hard for him to eat, does it hurt, what does it feel like? I would love to know how he learns things and differently he sees things if he sees things differently.

But all that will come in time. For now I will just kiss those little tootsies and enjoy every day with my baby quirks and all.

Be blessed

Friday, January 21, 2011

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Remember Warner?

Do you remember the little boy we raised money for over Christmas? Well today I looked on RR for the first time in several weeks. I usually look daily but we have been so busy. Anyways. I was praying he wouldnt be on there. If he wasnt on there it would mean he has a mommy and daddy going to get him.

When I was there I did find him, but I also found good news. He has 2400.00 in his account. Praise the Lord! This will make it a bit easier for him to find his family I hope.

I ask RR if our family could sponsor him again for New Years.

Remember my blog about losing weight for an orphan? I am keeping up my end of the deal. On Dec 31st I gave up sugar and junk food. So far I have lost 16lbs. I have until March. Will you sponsor me? Will you pray for Warner? Will you donate to his account(when I get the chip in back)? PLEASE. You can save the life of a child. At the end of the year when Warner has a family you can say, "I did that! I prayed and I gave and he is home." Let me tell you there is no greater feeling than that right there. And God will bless you. God requires us to help the orphans, did you hear me REQUIRES IT not just looks fondly at it no, no, He requires it! Are you doing what God is asking? You can, its easy. Pray about a number God wants you to give to Warner and then give. PLEASE! Thank you all so much.

Be blessed

Prayer Request

Please pray for my husband. He has an infected tooth. We have no health insurance and he doesnt get paid for days off. He could not work today because the pain was so intense. Noah's nurse gave us the number to a dentist and they couldnt help but gave us a number to a surgeon who could. They only charged Paul 25.00 for the xray and nothing for the visit. They said he can get it pulled for 200. or root canal for 1000. We dont have an extra 200 right now to get it extracted but we are believing God to heal him and if he needs to get it out that God will provide the funds to do it. Thank you.

Be blessed

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Monday, January 17, 2011

Let the little children come

I thought this was amazing. As my little old italian friend says," I got Jesus bumps." I love to hear children praising God. Whoever this child's parents are they should be very very proud. She may not fully grasp what she is singing right now but the words will sink in.

Be blessed

Sunday, January 16, 2011

God is so good!

We all know that though, huh. Today we went to look at a van. For months now I had been praying. God, please let us get a van that runs, fits our family and do not have to go into debt for. Well today that prayer was answered.

Paul found a van on craigslist yesterday for 1200.00 that was a price we could afford. It was a 12 passenger and looked fairly descent. I am not about looks as much as reliability so I dont really care. He texted the guy and we were told several people were going to look at it, but we could not because we had church. so we would have to pray and if this was meant to be ours it would be there the next day. When we went to church we told the pastor that had been praying for us what we found. I am so grateful for all the prayers. After church I called my gram to talk ad she ask what color the van was. I didnt know so I ask Paul for the link to the van. When I brought up the link the price had been changed 2000.00. What?! No Fair! We unfortunately could not afford that. Paul texted the guy and ask about the price and he said for us only it would be 1200 since he gave that price to Paul when he called. Paul and I thought, that has got to be God. Raising the price enough so maybe it wouldnt sell until we could get there.

We woke up today and went to meet the guy. The van had not been bought. Praise the Lord. I prayed the whole time we were there that if this was not the van for us Paul would know and if it was he would know. I also prayed if by chance it was not for us and we stupidly bought it that God would bless us and the van and let it run and be reliable and not a money pit. Well cosmetically it is not great. I mean its good but not one side of the van has not been scratched up. No big deal. I can even deal with the big black spots on it where they painted over the quality inn signs, lol. I love the inside. I especially love the please be seated and enjoy your ride sign as well as the no smoking sign, lol. I like the layout of the seats. 4 in the back row, then one on the left two on the right for the next 2 rows. It has a separate part in the back for storage. It has extra head room which makes it very tall over 8 ft. I called the hospital to see where we would park when we go to the hospital. They said the one lot has a 8ft 6 inch clearing and we are hoping it will go thru there, if not...hmm...they did say they would accommodate us so thats nice to know.

So Paul drove the van or should I say bus and we finally got outta there. We pick up the van tomorrow, they gave us a tire for it for 25 and free antifreeze. As soon as we got home we noticed the tires went on the van. One day early but still what timing God has. The van tires are literally flat because of how warn they wore, but 400. on tires in a van that doesnt work to begin with was not an option for us. So God did it, He allowed us to safely make it home and to only have one day before we had to pick up our new (to us)van. It will need a few things that will cost a few dollars but all in all we think we got a good deal.

I am so very thankful for the God we serve. He listened to my prayers and answered them. In fact every Sunday I pray for a group of men I have come to love and every Sunday God answers that prayer and those boys rock my world. In case you didnt know who I was talking about heres a hint, the best dang ball team in the nation baby, STEELERS! Whoot Whoot!

Anyways I am off to exercise but today was such a wonderful and beautiful day. You can read about AJ's day out on our family blog HERE. God even blessed us with a great gal offering free childcare today and her car to use! Rock on!

So I will leave you with this new song I heard and adore.

Be blessed

Saturday, January 15, 2011

It's not fair!

BEWARE!!!! This is a venting post.

Sometimes life is not fair. I know this and I am reminding myself as I type this. I know God will provide and vengeance is His. Thank goodness too because I know He can do a much better job.

First is a hiring freeze where Paul works, right before they were set to hire him. That sucks. We have no health insurance me and him and this would have been great. Because of the freeze and he being considered a self employer we got hit with an over 2000.00 tax. Fun!

Then in the mail today we get a notice. Before we moved into this house we got our security deposit back from our thief of a landlord. Little background on him. He is a Muslim doctor who always carries a weapon on his person. He ask us to pay rent to him directly when he would come to our house. It was always after 10pm and always early. Some months he ask us to pay twice and others a few weeks before it was due. The day we birthed our daughter he was at our house and demanded Paul be there to give him the rent not due for a few more days and we had sent the check a week before her birth. He claimed he never got it. Paul went home and paid him.

Long story short we found out our home was in foreclosure or near it and we needed to get out. He never fixed anything and everything we tried to grow or any pet we had always died there. The house and land were cursed. I firmly believe this. He was a thief and did not follow God and God was not blessing him. I saw strange things there but Paul, the kids and I were always protected by the blood of Jesus. This I am sure of. People started watching our house, people we believe he owed money to and we knew it was no longer safe.

The check that we were given for our security deposit was from the same bank as we were at. I had my doubts about it so I left it in the bank. Three weeks later we really needed it to put down on a new house. I called the bank and they said it had cleared. Wow. PTL! Right in time. I took the money moved away got a new bank account due to the move and moved on. Well then they called me a month or so after we were moved. They said the check ended up being a fraud. I told them they told me it cleared and it was a check from their bank. I told them who wrote it and they were going after him. Everyone seemed to be going after him.

Today I get in the mail almost 2 years later a bill in collections first notice for 1300.00 for that check. I called the collection people and explained it to them. They said they were sorry but we had to pay it. NO FAIR! I am going to call the bank Monday because as far as I knew this matter was settled. They probably could not get any money off of him and now they are coming after me. I have 5 kids! I am not paying his bills! I try not to be greedy. When someone needs something I try to give it but this man is a doctor! He owns a 600,000.00 house and several rental properties. Pay your own bills Dude!

So if I could ask you to pray. Please pray that this matter gets resolved without it affecting us in a bad way. Pray that Paul finds a job with insurance and more money and benefits. Also Noah is going to a new place the doctor said we had to go to get another feeding study. They told me insurance doesnt cover it all so we will have to pay, please pray we have the funds for that or that it will all be covered.

Sorry for the venting. Sometimes life is not fair, but God is good yesterday, today and tomorrow no matter what.

Be blessed

Friday, January 14, 2011


So. I just dont know if I like this nursing stuff. I am extremely tired. I get up early so I can get a shower and get dressed before they arrive at 8am. Then 8 am comes and goes..no nurse. 8:10 and 8:30 are when they show. No call, nothing. Then it is a different nurse everyday and I end up doing all the work because they dont know what they are doing. Yesterday the nurse was great, I liked her. I did have a breakdown about the bedrooms and the little hoarders I live with otherwise known as my children. So she did get a show there. Today I am beat. Its 930am and I am exhausted, my back is killing me and I am tired. Nice as this one is she came in and woke up the baby(and the other children too) which I did not want. Then I told her what had to be done but I ended up doing most of it.

Im sorry. I am being ungrateful. I just dont know if this is really worth it.

Oh and before I forget please pray for some friends of ours. They are moving and their stuff may have gotten ruined in the storage unit it is in. Pray that it didnt and God will bless their socks off! Thanks

Be blessed

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Noah's Story

Noah loves watching his stories everyday. What is his story you ask? King of the Hill. I know, I know, I am a bad mama. Actually, as far as adult swim cartoons goes it is very mild. No swearing except for the "got dangit" ya hear every once in awhile and yes I spelled that right. G O T dangit. Haha. King of the Hill is the reason I want to live in Texas :) AJ loves it too. She asks everyday to watch "daddy." Yeah, havent quite figured that out yet but it is what it is. LOL. Noah absolutely loves it. You cn talk to him all you want but that boy will ignore you until you turn it off, lol. Heres a video. Sorry its dark and bad sound we lost our good video camera and bought a crap one :(

Be blessed


Still no nursing. I have it for 6 weeks and so far time is ticking but no one is coming. Yesterday I found out that the first nurse, the one I had some concerns about quit. Yup. She was suppose to start yesterday and since the head person told her it was 8 hours a day she said it wsnt worth her 30 minute drive here. Must be nice to be that picky. When I had concerns and told the agency they said she was staying and I shouldnt be worried no way would she leave him on the couch all day like she said or not show up to work because of the drive. Hmmm not being smart but sounds like I was right in my concerns.

The next person they sent didnt take notes didnt ask questions nothing. But I left that go because obviously they dont care what I have to say anyways. She cant work a lot so they called yesterday and said another nurse would call yesterday and come over to interview....didnt happen.

This seems to be more trouble than its worth.

Be blessed

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Pizza and Fertility

Over at our family blog you can check out our family pizza night. It has the recipe for the pizzas and pics.

Noah is doing well. No vomit in the past couple of days, well I take that back yesterday there was a tiny bit. Hopefully the meds are working well enough to avoid surgery. I just worry about long term side effects. When I was reading in his Trisomy 8 papers we just got they said men with trisomy 8 are infertile. For me I didnt really dwell on this because we are a family that loves and believes in adoption. I just started to let myself think about that and what Noah may feel. Although after watching another stupid episode of 16 and pregnant I was kinda glad my son would never get a gal pregnant. But when I think it in all seriousness I hope that he can fill whole and not broken or any less of a man. I dealt with infertility but God was faithful. I hope that we can raise our son to understand that though he grew in our heart and not under it that he is no different than any other child we have. Most days I can't believe there was a day he wasnt with us.

I have a God that can heal him 100%, but I also know that he was made to fill a purpose that only he can fill. Noah has Trisomy 8 so God will get all the glory for his life.

Some days it is beyond hard but I am so blessed to be a mom of such great kids.

Be blessed

Friday, January 7, 2011

Nursing to start Monday

Well the more I thought about it adn the more I heard from others I realized I did want to do the private nursing, even if only for a few weeks. I also called the agency and told them my concerns I had with the first person to come out and interview. They are still sending her but we got some things cleared up. They are also sending a younger nurse that will be able to do more with Noah. That nurse if we get along will be here 3 days and the other nurse 2 days. I think it is a good compromise.

He seems to be doing well. He had a horrible vomiting episode the other day. Everything came out it was awful. He has not vomited since then which is great! I still smell it in the carpets and am having trouble dealing with that because it seems as if anyone who sits on the floor then has it on them. We are considering getting the floors professional cleaned because just cleaning them with a regular rug scrubber did nothing. My only problem with cleaning them is what if he does it as soon as they are finished. Then that is 75.00 down the drain and I dont have money to throw away. I am so bothered by the smell I want to pull up the carpet and put down hardwood. I just cant convince my husband, just yet. :)

Anyways other than a few issues with health I am having everything is going well and dare I say it...slowing down.Next week starts the doctors appointments again.

Please pray for us. Our van is shot. It will take way to much to fix it and it is not drivable right now. Pray that we can find a van reasonable in price and get one soon because I dont know what we will do next week when doctors visits resume. Thank you all so much.

Be blessed

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Made for More

Weren't all God's Children made for more than this?

Be Blessed

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Private Nursing

I found out this morning that we get private nursing Monday through Friday. I am grateful for this, I really am, but....I have mixed feelings about it.

Someone will be in my home daily. Here solely to take care of the son I adopted and promised to take care of myself. I feel like it makes me a bad person to get help. We chose this. He isnt even that bad.

For now it is for the next 6 weeks and we will re-evaluate after that. I guess right now I am caring more what the world thinks than what God thinks. God knew we would be getting help and the help is here for a reason.

Be blessed

Monday, January 3, 2011

10 months Young!

Today our only son turns 10 months old. No way?! Can it be..10 months ago our son was entering the world. When we heard about him 2 months later he was suppose to be a vegetable. So much can happen in 10 months.

He sits on his own, says mama and dada, stands, tries to crawl, pushes to hands and knees, dances to music and sometimes without, lol. He has his Daddy wrapped around his little finger and holds such a special place in his mama's heart. He has a smile that makes your heart melt, he has eyes that get commented on by strangers daily (in a good way). He has a bunch of sisters that amuse him and that he finds very amusing. He has more people in this world praying for and loving him than anyone could ever even hope to have. He loves and is very loved. I can not imagine a day without my wee man here. I can not imagine a moment without his smile. I cant imagine never making that call...that one call that changed our lives forever. I can not begin to thank God enough, but will continue to try, for the life and light that is my son.

I feel beyond blessed to have him in my life.

Be blessed

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Great Book! and Screaming kid!

I started a blog pretty much just for me to write my struggles with the weightloss journey I am on. I found this great book though called Made to crave by Lysa from Proverbs 31 ministries. If you wanted to read about it that is HERE and HERE. The first link is to what I wrote the second to the actual website for Made to crave.

AJ has been with gramma all week so there is some adjusting she needs to go through being back home. One thing is to get readjusted to a big girl bed rather than a crib. NOT GOING WELL! She screamed for most of the night last night. Then she woke up early. So she has been screaming all morning. Makes me want to stuff my fat face with chocolate! One other thing she is dealing with is losing her abby cadabby shoes. AJ has a crazy obsession with her abby cadabby shoes and gramma still has one shoe at her house. So now she is throwing fits when we have to put shoes on her. I am in search for Abby Cadabby shoes but can not find any. New balance made some but when I checked they didnt have any and amazon had some but I was unsure about the sizing they have listed.

Any moms out there that knows where I can find Abby Cadabby shoes without paying an arm and a leg? The ones she loves were 3.00 at a discount grocery store that I bought for my 3rd daughter years ago.

In other news Noah has continued to throw up once a day. Again I dont call this success but his doctor says dont do anything different. Ugh! Hopefully we soon have some answers and relief for him.

Be blessed

Saturday, January 1, 2011

1-1-11 1000.00

There is no better way to ring in the new year than to hear that EVERY child on the angel tree has met their 1000.00 goal! How great how awesome is our God!!! My prayer for this year is that every child on the Angel Tree find their family this year.

Be blessed