"Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it"

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

ENT Appointment

Yesterday Noah had an ENT appointment and a hearing test. The dr said that his ears looked good but he wanted me to take him over to the audiology dept and check his hearing.

So we headed over there. She checked to make sure the tubes were open. One was one wasnt.

In the tube that was closed his hearing was 2 outta 4 decibels. In the open ear it is only 1 outta 4 decibels. This isnt good.

So we headed back over to ENT and the dr said he wants to do surgery and put new tubes in. This and a new hearing test will take place May 10th.  Then the dr said we will get aggressive in making sure that he hears to the best of his ability what ever that may be.

So my baby needs another surgery. I hate when he goes under. But he is fearfully and wonderfully made and God has a plan for his life so I know He will protect Noah.

Be blessed

Sunday, April 15, 2012


The other day we went to a playdate for Reece's Rainbow families. It was so nice. Lots of great people and good food. Us moms got to chat it up while our kids all played together. The weather was perfect too.

Trinity played with a little girl named Emma who was also 11 and also the same size as Trinity. This was a very big deal to both girls. They couldnt believe they were the same age and same size. After we were all getting ready to leave a friend of mine told Trinity how nice it was of her to play and befriend Emma. I knew where the mom was coming from. Emma having down syndrome and Trin being nice and playing with her. But that isnt what Trinity saw. She didnt see a girl with down syndrome she saw Emma an 11 year old that is the same size and likes a lot of the same things Trinity does.

The whole way home Trin never shut up about the playdate and Emma. She wants to see her again. She can't wait! I see a beautiful friendship forming here.

I love that kids dont see the same as adults. What a wonderful world it would be if we all were a little more like kids. Sure some kids can be mean and hateful but that usually is the parents fault not the child's. I love that Trin has a new friend. Someone her own age and her size. Trin always felt out of place because she was tiny. At the playdate she no longer felt like an outsider. She truly felt like she belonged. Trin didnt see down syndrome and Emma didnt see a tiny 11 yr old. All they saw was a great new friend.

Be blessed

Wednesday, April 11, 2012


Today we committed to 2 Bulgarian children in Pleven. Everyone has heard about Pleven. Tonight as I was looking at my boys one so pale and thin I wonder how he survived 10 years there and the other so chunky but tiny I can't help but think about their birthparents.

Imagine you are in a country that does not appreciate the special needs child. No therapies, no real help. You can be ostracized from your community. Where there is socialized healthcare and you can't afford to get your child's medications. You have no choice. You must send your child, your flesh and blood, your heart and soul to an orphanage. They will get food there and medical treatment. If they are lucky some family from another country will come and adopt them and give them the good life. So you do the unimaginable. You place your child in the arms of someone else at a "baby house."

Then one day as you are trying to move forward with your life you catch the news. Breaking in on every channel is the horrible conditions of a certain orphanage. Children are being mistreated there, starved, not receiving proper medical treatment, not getting their basic needs met, never being touched to or held or talked to. Horrified you realize that is where you left your sweet baby.

I can't imagine the pain and loss my children's mothers are going through. Knowing that they wanted the very best for their children only to find out that it was far worse than they could have ever dreamed.

When I saw my children's faces I knew I had to go. I had to love with abandon. I may look crazy to the world but I didnt care. My husband and I we dont care how we look to the outside world. We werent made for this world. Society says I should have a 401k, 2 or 3 cars and huge house and credit cards. Society says whatever I desire I should have and have it now! Society tells me that if I give it all away I wont have anything for me or my family. Society says what if something happens? What about your "real" kids? You should spend your money on nice vacations. Society says it's not my problem. Society tells me I can't save the world.

But I know that I want to give it all to the one who gave it all for me. I know that I can never out give God. I know that my God is bigger than the 25,000 ransom. I know that Jesus loves those children even more than me and He died for them so the least I can do is die to myself and help further His kingdom. Will it be hard, yes! Will there be days that I just want to give up, I am sure. But God will give me what I need. I dont care if we don't have a retirement fund. I believe the rapture will take me way before retirement will. What I care about is that I was Jesus to the least of these. What I care about is that when I get the best vacation of all, my vacation to GloryLand, that there are people who are there because of what Paul and I did.

With all that I have in me I pray that I will always be an advocate for the orphans. And when I get to Heaven I pray to meet my children's mothers there and let them know how much I love them and that children were safe and loved.

Please pray for my boys mothers. I can't imagine the pain they are in. Pray that God will reign down on us and pay the ransom for our boys. That every need will be met. Pray that if it is God's will I may meet my boys parents. Go over to our adoption BLOG and donate to help bring our boys home. They deserve our all.

Once our eyes are opened we can't pretend we don't see. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows what we know, and holds us responsible to act. Prov. 24:12

Be blessed

Saturday, April 7, 2012


So I have been slackin on this blog. Sorry. We are in the adoption process and are busy fundraising and other things. I will blogging for the time being on my other blog HERE http://continuingourjourney.blogspot.com/ So check me out over there and follow our journey to another little prince.

Be blessed

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

My Husband's rant on Adoption

Here is my husband's blog. This is what he wrote.

Adoption is not an afterthought
Posted by Paul Beck on Wednesday, April 4, 2012
But when the time arrived that was set by God the Father, God sent his Son, born among us of a woman, born under the conditions of the law so that he might redeem those of us who have been kidnapped by the law. Thus we have been set free to experience our rightful heritage. You can tell for sure that you are now fully adopted as his own children because God sent the Spirit of his Son into our lives crying out, "Papa! Father!" Doesn't that privilege of intimate conversation with God make it plain that you are not a slave, but a child? And if you are a child, you're also an heir, with complete access to the inheritance. - Galatians 4:4-7

I'm coming to realize that the church in America considers adoption to be an afterthought to all of the other programs that it supports. This is backward thinking. THE reason that Jesus came to planet earth was so that we can be adopted as God's sons, joint heirs with Jesus. I don't think that we truly grasp this concept. We have been ADOPTED by God. This is why caring for the fatherless is so important to God, WE are the fatherless, the spiritually fatherless. WE have been adopted by God himself with a huge price tag. Jesus paid the ransom with His life in order to free us from our orphanage, called sin.

Wake up church and realize that adoption is not something nice that that God wants us to do to earn extra points. Adoption is THE point. When we take care of the fatherless and needy here on earth, it's as if we are doing this for Jesus himself. The Bible says that if we don't take care of the needy, the poor, the fatherless, the widows, that we are "goats" and he will say he never knew us. Why should God acknowledge us if we refuse to do for others what He has done for us?

I'm very disappointed at the church's attitude, we're missing the point. I think a lot of "Christians" will be shocked to find out one day that they ignored the heart of the great commission. "Go into all the world and preach the good news." What's the good news? God paid the price so we can be adopted as His sons! the good news is not that we can live a happier life because the great genie will grant you all of your wishes... What a horrible state the church is in.. Selfish Christianity is what it is... what's in it for me? The church isn't filled with Christ Followers, it's filled with fans...