"Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it"

Wednesday, April 11, 2012


Today we committed to 2 Bulgarian children in Pleven. Everyone has heard about Pleven. Tonight as I was looking at my boys one so pale and thin I wonder how he survived 10 years there and the other so chunky but tiny I can't help but think about their birthparents.

Imagine you are in a country that does not appreciate the special needs child. No therapies, no real help. You can be ostracized from your community. Where there is socialized healthcare and you can't afford to get your child's medications. You have no choice. You must send your child, your flesh and blood, your heart and soul to an orphanage. They will get food there and medical treatment. If they are lucky some family from another country will come and adopt them and give them the good life. So you do the unimaginable. You place your child in the arms of someone else at a "baby house."

Then one day as you are trying to move forward with your life you catch the news. Breaking in on every channel is the horrible conditions of a certain orphanage. Children are being mistreated there, starved, not receiving proper medical treatment, not getting their basic needs met, never being touched to or held or talked to. Horrified you realize that is where you left your sweet baby.

I can't imagine the pain and loss my children's mothers are going through. Knowing that they wanted the very best for their children only to find out that it was far worse than they could have ever dreamed.

When I saw my children's faces I knew I had to go. I had to love with abandon. I may look crazy to the world but I didnt care. My husband and I we dont care how we look to the outside world. We werent made for this world. Society says I should have a 401k, 2 or 3 cars and huge house and credit cards. Society says whatever I desire I should have and have it now! Society tells me that if I give it all away I wont have anything for me or my family. Society says what if something happens? What about your "real" kids? You should spend your money on nice vacations. Society says it's not my problem. Society tells me I can't save the world.

But I know that I want to give it all to the one who gave it all for me. I know that I can never out give God. I know that my God is bigger than the 25,000 ransom. I know that Jesus loves those children even more than me and He died for them so the least I can do is die to myself and help further His kingdom. Will it be hard, yes! Will there be days that I just want to give up, I am sure. But God will give me what I need. I dont care if we don't have a retirement fund. I believe the rapture will take me way before retirement will. What I care about is that I was Jesus to the least of these. What I care about is that when I get the best vacation of all, my vacation to GloryLand, that there are people who are there because of what Paul and I did.

With all that I have in me I pray that I will always be an advocate for the orphans. And when I get to Heaven I pray to meet my children's mothers there and let them know how much I love them and that children were safe and loved.

Please pray for my boys mothers. I can't imagine the pain they are in. Pray that God will reign down on us and pay the ransom for our boys. That every need will be met. Pray that if it is God's will I may meet my boys parents. Go over to our adoption BLOG and donate to help bring our boys home. They deserve our all.

Once our eyes are opened we can't pretend we don't see. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows what we know, and holds us responsible to act. Prov. 24:12

Be blessed

1 comment:

  1. It is totally irresponsible to adopt yet another kid you can't afford. If you need to fundraise, you should not be adopting. Period. Responsible, non-wearily folks (like my fam!!) saved up a good $25k before our old fashioned way babies -- to cover insurance deductibles and a six month mat leave for me. And we weren't entitled to that cushy $12k adoption refund, ie after refund, you'd only need to save $13k to come up with $25k. And no thinking you have god on your side does not absolve you of doing the responsible thing.

    I'm sure you're aware that adopting 2 unrelated kids significantly increases tge odds the adoption will disrupt? That refusing to vaccinate your kid makes ALL your kids a massive health risk to everybody?