"Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it"

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Monday, November 28, 2011


I am going to post about me for a second. Hope thats ok. So often I type on here all of the medical stuff Noah is going through or is having done or up coming. It's kinda weird that its about me now.

I went to the doctor to today for pre op. Tomorrow I am to have a hysterectomy. The first hour there was horrible. I had to fight back tears and was shaking. They said we owed 200. and I knew we didnt. The insurance and hospital already told us it was covered. They said we didnt meet our out of pocket or deductible. We had. Long stressful story short I talked them down to 128 which they will refund when they find out I am right!

So next it was exam and talking to the doctor. Everything was going fine, he said I would keep both ovaries and tubes and how it would be all laparscopic and in and out and better in a week but down and out 3-6 weeks. Then we are all finished and he looks at the sonogram results. He keeps looking for a long time. Silence. WTheck?

He then says in a low voice, "If it is cancer we will have to go in abdominally." If its WHAT?! Cancer? Huh?! I was too stunned to say anything then he said..and we may have to take the right ovary.

Wow. Well. Ok. I told him before he left. I dont care what kind of scare I have or what you have to do, but you get me home to my 5 kids!

So if you read this and feel so called could you pray for us. We havent found anyone for the kids so they are going to the hospital with us and a friend will come to help with the kids later on in the day. We have to be there at 11am Texas time and surgery is 1pm.

So prayers

That I wake up! Not during the surgery though OMGSH! lol

That its not cancer.

If it is cancer they get it all for good.

That the kids will be good and not get sick. I have masks for them to wear.

That Paul will have strength to deal with all he has to.

Thank you all so much!

Be blessed

Monday, November 21, 2011

Micah 6:8

“He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8

I love that verse and that song. But to tell the truth I dont really know what it means. I have been asking God to show me what it means. I had to look up each word.

To act justly.

To love mercy.

To walk humbly with our God.

justly: 1. Honorable and fair in one's dealings and actions: a just ruler. See Synonyms at fair
2. Consistent with what is morally right; righteous: a just cause.
3. Properly due or merited: just deserts.
4. Law Valid within the law; lawful: just claims.
5. Suitable or proper in nature; fitting: a just touch of solemnity.
6. Based on fact or sound reason; well-founded: a just appraisal.

Mercy: noun 1. Compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one's power to punish or harm: "the boy was begging for mercy".
An event to be grateful for, esp. because its occurrence prevents something unpleasant or provides relief from suffering.

Humbly: Having or showing a modest or low estimate of one's own importance.
Verb: Lower (someone) in dignity or importance: "I knew he had humbled himself to ask for my help".

I need to be fair when dealing with people. I need to show compassion and forgiveness and I need to make myself less and God more. Wow. I get it now. What a huge task. But that is what God requires of me. Requires. I know that word. I know that meaning. That means its not a choice or something nice I do God demands it. That is what is good. Oh I have such a long way to go.

Thank you for loving me in spite of all my failures. Thank you for blessing me when I dont deserve it. God help me to live out Micah 6:8. When I get angry or want to react or judge bring to mind Micah 6:8. Let it always be in the front of my mind. Help me God to do what is required of me. Help me to be less and You more. Please God let people forget me and only remember You. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Please friends hold me accountable.

Be blessed

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Vacation Pics

Im just gonna post some more pics. These are from Sea world. I am not coherent enough to blog right now.

Be blessed

Friday, November 4, 2011

Dear Orphan

This is a great post on a friends blog!

Dear Orphan,

I saw your picture today and heard about your plight. Your face is so beautiful and sad, and it tugs at my heart.

I hear you don't get enough to eat, and that there isn't always medicine if you get sick. You sleep in a room with many children, but you still feel alone.

You have never had anyone wish you a "Happy Birthday", give you a gift, or even sing you a lullaby goodnight. No one has ever told you about Jesus or that He loves you.

I wish we could adopt you, but....

It is such a long way to travel, it would cost so much money, and it involves so much paperwork.
Our home isn't very big, and we already have children. Adding another child to our family would mean they would have to share a bedroom as well as our love and attention.
What if you have health issues or special needs that are not yet diagnosed?
You might have a hard time adjusting to a family after never knowing one, or have "issues" from years of neglect, malnutrition, mistreatment, or abuse.

I'm sorry, it just feels like too much of a risk and sacrifice. Adoption doesn't really feel like our "calling". Maybe there is another family....

Written by Amy B.

Be blessed

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Are they all yours?

This is AWESOME! It is from my friends blog It sums up my feelings perfectly. So after reading this I except to not hear "Are they all yours" coming from your mouth, k?! :) Be blessed

Dear Stranger
Dear Stranger,

You made a comment.
What you said makes no sense.

"You have your hands full."
I'd like to make a suggestion... This is a phrase that needs to be eliminated from your vocabulary, never to be used again.

Only exception to this rule ... if a person's hands are ACTUALLY full. Then you are allowed to say it. Then again, I am not sure why you'd want to say it then either. Why would you want to point out such an obvious thing? It's like saying, "You're a girl" or "You have on a dress."

So maybe the real only exception to the rule should be that it needs to be a phrase that is completed such as, "You have your hands full ... let me help you with that."

But I find the phrase is never really used in that context.

So what ARE you trying to say when you say that?

I was at an appointment today. The announcement came on, "Joan Smith to window 2". Joan Smith immediately got up and started walking to window 2. I heard the worker say (in incredulous tones), "You have your hands full." Why? Because the woman had a 3 year old, a 2 year old and was very pregnant.

So exactly, what was the point of saying that? *I* certainly don't know.

I hear it all the time directed at me. And I never know what they mean or why they say it or how I'm supposed to respond.

To me it means: You are in over your head. You have too many children. You look harried and overworked. You look horrible. You don't know what you're doing. Or perhaps it means You are doing something that I could never do. I would never have that many kids.

I can see people saying it if my kids were running around like wild children. Or if they were loud and out of control. Or if I was looking harried and overworked. But no, even sitting nicely, everyone smiling, playing nicely together... they feel the need to say this inane phrase.

I cringe when I hear it. It's quite insulting.

I'm sure you just meant it as an off-handed comment that means nothing to you and you just tossed out this phrase without thinking (which is my point). What you don't understand is that I hear that phrase about 20 times a day. And I don't like it.

Since I don't know what you're trying to say, I find I have no rebuttal that works. I am left to just sit there and give a half smile/half grimmace. ::awkward pause::

To me, it's no different than me pointing out, "You sure have your mouth full" when you take a bite of food.

I hereby request that you and everyone (all 7 billion people in the world) refrain from using that phrase.


P.S. Next phrase I will tackle? "Are they all yours?"

What adoption looks like

Be blessed

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Wrong words

Today I wanted to just do a quick post about words and how they can hurt. When talking about adoption there are certain words that can really sting a little. So I will give you my list and thoughts first then the thoughts of others from other blogs.

"real" parents. When referring to my son's birthfamily we call them by name. I understand that not many people know their names due to privacy. When others refer to my son's birthfamily or birthparents we prefer those terms and not real mom real gma real dad. Saying someone else is Noah's real mom really hurts my feelings and annoys the crap outta me. He is my child. This does not mean we do not acknowledge his birthfamily, we do. We just are very much real people and we have raised our son thus far so don't strip us from the title of mom and dad simple because we didnt birth him and he doesnt have our genes.

"I bet the birthmom was young" or "she must have been on drugs" or "how selfish I could never"
You dont know our situation and you cant even begin to understand what it is like for a person to go through a pregnancy and birth then choose not to parent that child. It is unfair to her, to us and to our child that people would say these things and think them. Our son's birthmom was young, not horribly. I was around the same as when I had my first. She was and never has been on drugs. She is the most selfless person we know. Maybe you couldnt make that decision, maybe I couldnt but keeping a child is selfish doing whats best the child is selfless. Also please dont presume that she decided not to parent because Noah has special needs. In our case that simply isnt true. She had no idea he had trisomy 8.

Also when talking about my kids dont ask me which one or ones are my own. They are all mine.

Also here is what I wrote about last year. The blog post is HERE and here is some of what I said.

Things that are NOT to be Said to People Who Adopt:
1. How much did she/he cost?
2. Why did you go and adopt--couldn't you have your "own" child?
3. Did you buy that baby?
4. Maybe now that you adopted, you'll have "your own" child.
5. She/He looks nothing like either of you.
6. What are you going to do when she/he looks for their birthparent?
7. Do you know her/his "real" parents?
8. I sure hope he/she fits into your family!
9. Why didn't his/her real mom want him/her?
10. Don't even tell him/her they are adopted, they'll never know.
11. Too bad you had to adopt!
12. Whose fault is it you can't get pregnant?
13. You're doing these kids such a favor.
14. S/he is so lucky to have your family instead of his/her own.
15. An older child is damaged goods .
16. She's your daughter?
17. What about your own kids? What do they think about this?
18. She might come from a cursed background.
19. What are you going to do when you have kids of your own?
20. Do you think you love them as much as you could love your real kids?
21. You got kids the easy way you never even had to be pregnant.
22. What if the real parents come back and kidnap them?

he answers to your questions are going to be framed using these basic points about adoption:

Adoption is permanent.
Adoption is a legal change, involving the court.
Adoption is another good way to create a family.
Some aspects of adoption are private.
Most adopted children grow up to be just fine.

The above was from a website adoptioncrossroads.org

Be blessed

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

National Adoption Month

November is national ADOPTION month! How cool is that?! Have you adopted? If not what are you waiting for? It is the most awesome thing that has ever happened to us and I am so grateful. So thankful. What do you say when handed the gift of a human life? Thanks hardly seems like enough.

Adoption completed our family. I cant imagine where we would be right now without our littlest miracle. Noah is so amazing. He inspires me to be great. All my children are unique and bring their own beauty and wonder into our lives, but Noah.....he is extra special. Oh man that sounds horrible, lol. I dont mean it that way. Really.

Noah has Trisomy 8 which unless you are just joining me today you already know this. Trisomy 8 is incompatible with life(so they say). Who in their right mind would adopt a baby with that attached to him?! Well...Paul and I never claimed to be in our right minds :) Sometimes living radically for Jesus means doing something that the world thinks is crazy. Dying on the cross seems crazy but I am so glad Jesus did that for me. Me? I can say that Jesus died for your sins easily but when it comes to me...well I pause. Really? I have a man that loved me so much even though we never met He would lay down His life for me? Thats love. And in some small way I want to do something to please Him. Not because it'll get me into Heaven, but because He's my Papa and I love Him and He ask me to.

But back to my point, adopting a child with a special need or who the doctors say will die at any time seems crazy. I have to say though without Noah we would not be who we are today. Seems like a bold statement but its true. He is amazing. He is everything we have ever wanted and needed without ever knowing we did.

Be blessed