"Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it"

Thursday, September 16, 2010


I am so excited! Noah's birthmom emailed. Days like today are my favorite. I love hearing from her! She is just an amazing person and we love her so much! I told Noah we got emails from her and he started smiling then I said, Noah ****** is coming to see you! Yes she is ****** is coming to play with you and she loves you so much! He got so excited! I want to get him on video with me telling him and send it to her.

We are having Noah dedicated on Oct 3rd and we are so pleased that his foster mama and birth mama are coming in to be here on this very special day. Without both of those women my son would not have life. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of them, pray for them or thank God for them and the gift they gave me.

We live in such a self serving and self centered society. Roe vs Wade gave women the choice that if they got pregnant they could just "get rid of it". Noah's birthmom was given that choice but yet she chose life. That had to be hard. To be so young and take on this huge responsibility. To stop being a child and start making adult decisions. To decide that she would withstand the ridicule so her son might have life, that amazes me how selfless she is.

Then you have his foster mother and her family. They chose to live out James 1:27 (Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.) They put their needs aside and said, how can we help? Can you imagine? Both women mothers and taking a child and then giving him to a stranger. First his birthmom carries him for nearly 10 months, going to drs visits, hearing his heartbeat, throwing up, walking slower, gaining weight, swelling, then enduring painful labor and delivering this child all for someone else. She feeds him and dresses him and holds him one last time. Then his foster mom who takes him home from the hospital and shows him love feeds him, gets up with him in the night, changes him, takes him to his drs appointments, fights for him when she knows something medically is wrong, wills him to live when things look like the he may not make it through the night, spends days with him in the nicu never leaving him, having him and loving him almost 3 months all this to hand him to a person she never met and hope for the best.

Then I am suppose to bring him home, forget his story, love him like he was always mine and send 5 pictures and a letter every 3 months to birthmom and maybe a christmas card the first year to the foster mom. Seriously? Noway, like it or not I am not going away Im gonna be like a fly on poo with them. They have a friend for life and I wont let them be. Each of them in separate but special ways gave my son life and I am forever grateful. I love them both like they are family, to me they are family. I am so glad God brought them into my life. I just cant express how much I love them.

I hope this is the first of many visits and we can bond together as a family and be there for one another. Each of us has a lot to learn from the others. We are 3 generations of women with such a special bond, we have a son together.

I absolutely can not wait to see them. I can not wait for them to meet our family and friends and our other children. We talk about them everyday. There is no Noah with out Nancy and birthmom.

I pray that all who have adopted and can be in contact with their babys birthmoms will be in contact with them. Remember their sacrifice, remember their hearts, treat them with the love that God has shown us because without birthmoms we would not have our children.

The two women that gave my baby life, his birthmom and his foster mom. Birthmoms face and name are blurred for her privacy.

Born on the same day 11 years apart now we share more than a birthday we share a son.

Be blessed.


  1. What a beautiful truthful tearful post Ashlee! You are educating me through your experiences - thank you so much for sharing your life. I pray that I will have this relationship with birth family and foster family as well. I will strive for it! Blessings!

  2. What Ashlee failed to mention is how we, his foster family, have been so overwhelmed by their willingness to allow us to remain part of Noah's life. Noah is such an incredible, beautiful baby boy that only deserved to go to the greatest family...and that is where he went. They have been such a blessing to our family.

  3. I love this post! I think it is wonderful you continue to share info with your birth mom! I had to visit your site after you posted on mine (brightspotz.com - I answered your question there). I am glad I visited and will be back often!