"Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it"

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Birthmoms

When I told my foster mom that today I would be taking pictures of birthmoms and their babies and pregnant birthmoms she said, : I think you found your calling."

Well guess what..She's right!

Today I met so many pregnant girls. Every where I looked there was a pregnant girl. Lol. It is funny too because last night I had the weirdest dream. I peed on like 6 sticks and they all said pregnant. I didnt believe it so it was writing pregnant in like 5 other languages,lol. I remember being so upset. I didnt want another child. I knew it was going to be a girl. I mean you birth 4 girls chances are you will birth a 5th. I didnt want a baby in the new house. I didnt want a normal healthy baby and I didnt want a girl. I had my tubes tied and then had to have my uterus lining taken out due to some issues and so when I ask the doctor he said everything was perfect inside. Then I got really scared that because I didnt want the baby God would take her away from me. So I tried so hard to be ok with the baby. Weird!

Anyways...

The girls were great. They were so nice and open and honest. It was great seeing them. I got to also meet two of them that had their babies well 3 actually. 2 had their babies with them and I took pics of them together.

I gave them my business card and told them to call me if they wanted when they delivered and I would take pics for them. They were so gracious. I am very excited to get close to them and love on them and maybe through my actions change the world. If I treat them nice then they will treat others nice. If they know I am a Christ-follower and am not judging them maybe they will go to church and get saved and follow Christ themselves.

I am going back next Friday if I am allowed to do some more.

I also got the chance to meet an adoptive mom. She is so sweet. Everything that happened today was amazing. I got in the car and the song I refuse by Josh Wilson came on and I just started crying. My Spirit was just overwhelmed I guess. I love that song. The lyrics speak to me so much.
Here are the lyrics and my thoughts I had today in parentheses
Sometimes I
I just want to close my eyes
And act like everyone's alright
When I know they're not
(How easy would it be to just look away and pretend that the world was perfect?)

This world needs God
But it's easier to stand and watch
I could say a prayer and just move on
Like nothing's wrong

But I refuse
'Cause I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh, I refuse
(This speaks to me so much. I dont want to sit around and live my life in a bubble. I dont want to raise my kids, kiss my husband, party with friends and pretend that the homeless man down the street isnt there or a hurting girl didnt just find out she was pregnant alone.)
To sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
Oh, I could choose
Not to move but I refuse
(No one can do the job that God put in your heart to do. If you dont do it no one else will.)
I can hear the least of these
Crying out so desperately
And I know we are the hands and feet
Of You, oh God

So, if You say move
It's time for me to follow through
And do what I was made to do
Show them who You are
(This set of lyrics is my passion. God gave me a heart for the least of these for the orphans, widows and fatherless. Someone said that widows are todays single moms. I believe it!)
'Cause I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh, I refuse

To sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
Oh, I could choose
Not to move but I refuse

To stand and watch the weary and lost
Cry out for help
I refuse to turn my back
And try and act like all is well

I refuse to stay unchanged
To wait another day, to die to myself
I refuse to make one more excuse

'Cause I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh, I refuse

To sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself
Oh, I could choose
Not to move but I refuse

I refuse
I refuse


When I die I want to have lived. Living for me is getting out there and showing God's love to others. Holding babies that need held, giving a hug to someone who has never experienced it, handing a homeless man a plate of food and a few bucks, taking pictures for people who otherwise wouldnt have the pictures. I want to live to be forgotten. I want people to see Jesus in me so much that they never remember me and only remember Him. Thats my prayer to live to be forgotten.
And when I get to heaven I want to hear, "Well done thy good and faithful servant."



Be blessed

1 comment:

  1. Very well said. I definitely see you doing just that! God is using you in awesome ways!

    ReplyDelete