"Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it"

Friday, June 18, 2010

The men in my life

I have 2 men in my life that I love more than anything. I never thought I would say that after my best friend died. I just feel so blessed right now. Having a son is nothing anyone without one could imagine. In all honesty though some days I still feel like he isnt mine. I love him and would die for him and would never ever give him up but I feel like I have to run all decisions past a slew of people. Having never adopted before I dont know how all of this works. Some days I feel like his very blessed foster mother that will one day have to give him back then I have to remind myself I am his mother. His mother that will be here for him forever, his mama that will be the only mama he ever knows(in his daily life. we plan to talk about his first mom to him daily when he is older and have her be a part of Noahs life as much as possible), his mama that in 5 years will dry his tears from a boo boo and in 10 years will watch him do dare devil stunts that take years off my life, his mama that in 20 years will watch him fall in love, go to college and start living his life out there in the world. I am Noah's mama.

So I have two men in my life. How did I ever get to be so blessed?

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