"Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it"

Sunday, June 27, 2010

2 months ago today

Two months ago on April 27th we were told about a baby who needed a mommy and daddy and boy did this mommy and daddy need this baby. I can't believe it. I just stand in awe of my beautiful Savior and His awesomeness.

I remember thinking this is too good to be true. There could be no possible way we could have a baby and this fast. I thought about how I would react when they told me he wasnt ours. I tried to picture that and to prepare myself for bad news but part of me couldn't. I was just so excited at the possibility. Some people were concerned. They thought it was too fast and too easy. They said I should not change the nursery or buy anything and I should definitely not get excited! It was too late though, I was excited. I was excited and hopeful. What was wrong with that? I had thought long and hard about what they said, but then I realized that it isnt in my nature to be that way. When I got pregnant I told everyone immediately. I bought bibs and blankets, toys and clothes. Even after losing a baby I still did that every time. I get excited. Why would this be any different, how could I not get excited after all we went through. If this child was not meant to be God would still fulfill his promise and we would have a child.

When this baby boys caseworker called and said she was sending the profile to the birthmother I got a little sick. Every few minutes I would think of something I could have said better or another picture I could have added. I thought about how one friend told me to say I had tattoos and one friend was very upset I said that in my letter to the baby's mom. I thought what if the way I worded it made it sound like I was like that lizard man covered in a full body tattoo with stuff bulging out of my skin and a cut tongue. God quickly and quietly brought me back down and simple said that no matter what I did or did not say His will was already done and if this child was ours he would be. I took great comfort in that. I had peace within me for the first time in a long time during this whole process.

The birthmother had 3 weeks to make a decision. Waiting was so not my thing. She got the profiles on Friday before Mothers day, Monday after mothers day we got the call. We were having a boy! I could not believe it. We later found out it took Noah's mom 10 minutes to decide we were his parents. I look back on that day and the post I made and think about how great and sometimes sneaky our God is. These were the prayers I ask for:

That the money will all be there. ANSWERED

That God's will would be done in this situation. ANSWERED

Pray for strength for the birth family, that they will make the right decision and feel a sense of peace knowing their son is in good hands. ANSWERED

Pray for a miracle in this child's life and health. That whomever are his parents that they would bond quickly with one another and have a wonderful life together. ANSWERED

We ask that you pray God would give us strength. Strength to continue on this roller coaster of a journey. That he would not let us get discouraged or hurt in this process. And pray that God would bring us our child, soon. ANSWERED, ANSWERED, ANSWERED

Wow, how cool is that!

I really just cant believe my life.

Be blessed!

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