"Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it"

Sunday, March 14, 2010

No news

Not much has been going on in the way of the adoption lately. We have to wait to get a paper on the 15th of March then send that then wait on Russia to approve then we send in the rest of the documents. I guess whether you are pregnant or adopting waiting is inevitable.

I have been staying pretty busy here trying to homeschool 2 children and potty train a reluctant toddler and dealing with temper tantrums of a 1 year old. Homeschooling is going, potty training is not, haha. Tantrums dont really bother me. In fact when she throws her fit I laugh out loud too. I know I shouldnt but its funny. Maybe if she were my first I would speak in a soft tone and comfort her and run over and make sure she doesnt hurt herself, but she is number 4. I laugh at her and tell her to get up when she is finished. She is hysterical and one of these times I will make sure to record it. If she knows she is on a hard surface she sits down and lays back onto the floor very carefully. When she is laying fully and comfortably she then screams and kicks her feet. It really is rather funny.

I wonder what Faith's personality will be like? I find myself looking at the clock all the time lately and imagining what she must be doing. The problem is that the time difference is so significant that I look and her day is already almost over. It is a daily struggle to let go of control and let God do this Himself. I am trying though. Some days I look at the cost that we still owe and my chest hurts so much I cant breath. I think about how much we will have to spend in country and all the what ifs and I feel like I could puke at any minute. Lovely I know.

I cant describe what I am feeling. I am overjoyed to have 4 beautiful girls and one more on the way. I am anxious to go meet her. I am worried that she will not like us and that our kids will not like her. I dont know how difficult this is going to be and I cant prepare for that so I am anxious about that as well. fears, worries and doubts come and go. I have moments of peace and clarity and moments of worry and fear and doubt. I dont doubt she is our child, I doubt my ability to be good enough for her.

We have some online friends over in Eastern Europe right now. They are my eyes and ears as best they can be to what it will be like to be in that phase of our adoption. They are going to be meeting their beautiful princess soon. The last revision was sent back to the agency to approve the homestudy. I hope they do. This revision was simple, just needed to add last names to everyone mentioned in the HS. This week we hope to get Paul's paycheck and take the stub, get it notarized and then immediately email in to our agency then hopefully they immediately fwd it on to Russia. I really believe after that gets approved things will move much faster. Here is hoping anyway. I just really really want to travel. I feel like we have accomplished nothing so far. I just feel like if we traveled then at least that would seem like progress.

Anyways, please continue to keep us in prayer. Pray for the money to get here for the adoption, for Faith to continue to thrive and stay healthy and for the first trip and court date to come very soon and be close together. Pray also the 10 day waiting period would be waived. Pray above anything else that God's will be done in this.

Please also pray for a little child named Zoya and her parents. They are almost done with their adoption. Pray Zoya has a good transition into their lives and also that things in country move smoothly and the 10 day waiting period is waived and they can bring her home really soon.

Also keep the family of Layla Grayce in your prayers. Layla Grayce rests perfectly healed in the arms of her Jesus right now. She had lost her battle with cancer and was only about 2 yrs old. Pray for strength and guidance in this tragic time. Pray for her parents and sisters, that God might just give them a peace that passes all understanding.

Thanks so much.


1 comment:

  1. I hear the sadness in your recent posts. Praying things look up soon. You have a beautiful blog and a beautiful family. And you seem like a GREAT mom to me!