"Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it"

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Two Years Ago


Two years ago we lost our Russian daughter. We clung to God. Your will not ours be done Lord.

Two years ago my son was born. His birth was the only one of my kids births I was not present for> That stumps people sometimes. Haha.

Two years ago a woman was delivering a baby she knew she would place in someone elses arms. I can't even imagine how hard that must have been for her.

Two years ago my son took his first breaths in this crazy world.

Two years ago an adoptive family waited to hear of his arrival. I am sure they anticipated this moment for months. Only upon hearing that my child may have some "issues" they walked out of the hospital empty handed. Grieving the loss of their "perfect" child.

Two years ago a woman took my child in while he waited to be placed into my arms.

Two years ago she sat by his bed and willed him to live. To hold on. To breath. To grow. To cry.

Two years ago my son went to the NICU and I was not there for him. The only time I haven't been by his hospital bedside.

Two years ago the doctors gave little hope. My child would be a vegetable. Probably never talk, never walk, die young.

Two years ago my son decided he wanted to live.
Two years ago he fought to be here, to be loved, to be accepted.

Today we celebrate Noah's 2 years of God given miracles.Two years of overcoming obstacles. Two years of meeting exceeding expectations.

Two years ago God gave me the most perfect gift and I hadnt even known yet. I thank God for Noah everyday. And for his birthmama. Without her we would not be celebrating this day. I can't even imagine my life without her and Noah in it. They have blessed me so much.

Noah is my life. His smile melts my heart. His strength keeps me humble. I want to do more and be better because of my boy. We don't know how long we have on this earth and Noah has taught me to celebrate lie everyday. Celebrate the small things. Lie is meant to be celebrated. I want to live because of him. Live fully. Live humbly. Live boldly.


God,
Thank you so much for Noah. How did you know he was just what we needed? You turned our mourning into dancing with that boy. He is my greatest gift. Thank you for loving me and trusting me enough to give Noah to me. You knit him together in his mama's womb and called him to do great things. What a testimony my child has in his 2 short years. You have healed him time and time again. Thank you for seeing Noah as perfect just the way he is. Thank you for allowing me to see Noah as perfect. In Jesus name. Amen


Noah,

Oh my boy. Mommy's love. I remember being so scared when we first brought you home. Somedays I thought we would lose you. I don't fear that anymore. God has had His hand on you my boy. I imagine you are going to do great things. You make me and your papa so proud. You crack us up too. You get away with way too much and you are a bit of a drama queen..if we are being honest. Lol. I love the way you get so excited when your dad comes home and start screaming DAD DAD DAD. I love that when I get home you run to me arms out screaming DAD DAD DAD. And I scream back mom mom mom hoping you dont think that is your nickname from me. I love the surprise ace you give when you hear a noise or see a plane or train or firetruck. I love that you surprise your therapist with new tricks almost weekly. I love how you put a piece o food in your mouth and then hold your arms out while chewing as if to say Look ma no hands! I love to hear your laugh. I love that your whole face smiles. I love how tiny you are. I love that you have more hair on your back than a grown man, hahaha. I love how you shock us with full sentences at times. People think you can't talk but you can when you want to. I love when you throw a fit which consists of laying on the ground sighing loudly and sticking your bottom lip out. I love how smart you are. I love how boyish you are. Like its just in you. I love how you make your fingers into a gun. I love how you pincher grasp everything which then makes you look kinda like a snob. I love your nose. I love how much you love your family. I love how you dance to and love music. I love those big beautiful eyes with those long lashes. I love that your mine. I love that I get to keep you and I love that you know I am your mommy. I love wee-man.

Happy 2nd Birthday Noah!

1 comment:

  1. Awww this is so neat! What a blessing! I love both pictures of Noah on here.

    Happy Birthday sweet Noah! God definitely has a plan for your life! And He's fulfilling it everyday. I love how God uses such a little person to do a big job! (changing the hearts of men) God bless!

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