"Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it"

Friday, July 8, 2011

Large Families FAQ with Come Backs.

Large Families FAQ with Come Backs.



1) You have your hands full!



Yes, happily so!

Yes, and my heart too.

Don't say anything, just look puzzled at your hands. (This does obviously

not work if you are carrying a baby :-)

Yes, but I would rather have my hands full than empty!





2) Are they all yours?



No, I just went to Rent-a-Brat.

No, this is not all of them, my oldest is at home with the triplets. HEHE!

No, actually two are the mailman's and I am not sure whose is that one.....

No, I picked up a couple extra in the produce aisle.

Gee, I never heard that question before!

Of course they're all mine. Do you think I take five (or fill in your

number) kids shopping for fun?

No..........I have two more at home! (When it fits)

Yes, and they're such good kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (the kids love that one!)

Of course they are..wait..who is that one? Hes not ours.....oh,yeah, 5 , I

forgot I had him.

I don't know. How many do you count?

Yes. But if you have any you don't want, I'll gladly take them, too .

No. I've been an avid collector for years and just picked these up in the

food court!

Yes, at least that's what I tell my husband.

Yes, we just enjoy sex soooooo much!

Why do you want to know?

Well, not today.

We are trying to get into the Guiness Book of World Records of (add whatever

here) most kids, largest family living in one house, etc.

Yes, I always want just one more.

Check back in nine months and you'll see for yourself.





3) Don't you know what causes that?



No, please tell me!

Of course, don't you?

Yes, we do know what causes that and we like it very much, thank you.

Oh yes, we finally figured it out and we now keep the tooth brushes in

seperate glasses!

Oh yes, I now wash my husband's underwear seperately.

Oh yes, having a great sex life!

Water or sex but I don't want to give up either.

Smile brightly and say with enthusiasm "Yes and we like it!"

You bet I do......love, love, love ( & sex, sex, sex.....hehehe.......)

Yes,and as you only have two kids obviously you dont do it much.

Yes, and it is something I am very good at...

Of course, and the Lord has greatly blessed us!

A strong husband/wife relationship, big hearts, and the Lord's blessing.





4) Are you going to get fixed?



Nope, I am not broken!

Why do you want to know?

Huh, we thought everything was working fine for us!?!

We didn't know anything was broken.

Don't you only fix things that aren't working properly?

Well as you can see be the size of OUR family everything is in working

order. :)(You have to say this last one with the kinda "I'm not to bright so

your question seems kinda foolish don't you think?" attitude.





5) I can't believe how you do it, I cannot even handle my two!



Yes, if I had kids like you, I wouldn't have any more either!

Yes, you don't strike me as the type who could handle more kids than that.

I do it like most people, in bed and after the kids are sleeping.

I put knobs on the kids. Makes them easier to handle.

Everyone has 24 hours in a day, it is just how you use it...nt

With lots of patience, patience, patience

go and look at them while they're sleeping. This reminds me of what sweet

children of God they are and keeps me going!

Oh, I just do it. Wake up in the morning, do what you have to do all day, go

to bed when it's done.

Pick your battles carefully. It helps to have selective sight and hearing!

Don't sweat the small stuff.

(this is a good one for chat rooms) Oh, straight jackets and handcuffs!





6) Are you planning to have any more?



I've been wondering about this and maybe you can explain it to me: I always

thought you had to plan NOT to have more.

Before we were married we planned on having 2, but I didn't know that my

husband couldn't count!

We didn't plan the first five, I don't think we'll plan the next five,

either.





7) I hope you aren't planning to have anymore?!?





You mean, I just figured out what I'm really, really good at, and you're

telling me to stop doing it?

Talk to God about it... it's up to Him.

Well, we do have room in our Yukon for 1 more. LOL!!!!!

OK, I won't plan my next one. Surprises can be fun!

Yup we are going to keep going till we get an ugly one.





8) Haven't you heard of birth control?





Yes, and I thank God it doesn't always work!

Yes, I've heard of it, I hope you are using it!

(for dad) Yes, but I just can't find a rubber that will fit me!

Yes, that's great stuff for people with ugly kids!

Oh yes, we do know what birth control is; it's for people who don't want

children.





9) Don't you have a television?



Yes, but we only get X-rated channels

Yes! Did you know there are 28 porn channels in this area?

No, we have much better things to do at night!

Yes 4 of them. Why?





10) How can you afford having so many?



Lifestyles are expensive not kids.

We're not on welfare, in huge amounts of debt, and no, my husband is not a

doctor or lawyer. We just budget well.

I figure you spend what you make, you may as well spend it on more.

" You don't know my financial backer!" (God, of course)

I'm still not sure how we do it...but it works!





11) I am glad it is you and not me!



Yes, me too!

My kids are glad it's me and not you too! ;-)

Oh me too! I love being a mother! and smile real BIG!





12) Do you get any time for yourselves?





Obviously we get a little time to ourselves, or we wouldn't have five kids.





13) Did you give birth to all of them?



Yes, I gave birth to them all. Do you really believe the stork dropped them

off?





14) When people just keep staring at your family....



Yes, they all are mine!

No, we don't try to overpopulate the earth, just to outnumber the idiots.

Be blessed

2 comments:

  1. LOL! I love these! :)Glad I stumbled upon your blog tonight. Thanks for the laugh!

    ReplyDelete