"Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it"

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

No news

We got up at 6am and got everyone ready, packed our bags, lunches made, car checked, kids in car seats and out the door. We headed 90 mins away. Surprisingly enough I didnt get lost. However I did have a stomach ache the whole way there.

AJ didnt have to pee until 5 minutes before we arrived. I held her off until we pulled in the parking lot but by then she was making some faces and pleading with me. lol. I grabbed the on the go potty stuck it on the ground, no time for the bags and let her go. Then I threw water on it and the potty and we were ready to head in.

It was a nice facility. They gave us a portable dvd player and let the girls pick out a movie. They picked Toy Story 2. So we headed into our first room. It was huge and very private. It was the only room that had a door rather than curtain. We stayed in there awhile. Some nurses and drs came and went then it was time to move to the other room.

We werent in there even a minute before the nurse came in and said its time. I carried Noah into a room down the hall. I ask to change his diaper so he wouldnt be wet and uncomfortable. I cleaned his face and walked over to the room changed his diaper and they out the mask on. The room was all orange, orange lights, hanging basketballs from the ceiling. He fought the gas mask for a couple seconds, I think it was the smell. I sang to him and made sure he could see him. I touched his hands. I sang his song. You know the toby mac n Jaime Grace song I love the way You hold me. Well we changed the words to say I love my little Noby. I think it fits. I feel this crazy world is gonna bring me down That’s when Your smile comes around Ooh, I love my little Nobys By my side You’ll always be You take each and every day Make it special in some way I love my little Nobys In my arms youll always be You take each and every day Make it special in some way I love You more than the words in my brain can express I can’t imagine even loving You less Oh, I love my little Noby. See how it fits.

Anyways he was out and I walked out, crying. It doesnt ever get any easier. We have done this way too many times to count. It was over in a matter of minutes I think. The doctor came in and told me everything looked good. Thats good I guess but doesnt solve our problems. She said biopsies will be back in 3 days and they may tell us. I hate that he went through this and we have no answers. I dont want anything bad to be shown but I want answers. The doctor said that she was going to be very methodical and get to the bottom of this. I know she will.

Noah woke up like he was late for a very important meeting. He got up threw the covers off, stood up, fell down slapped people away, got back up, fell back down, refused to let me get him hooked up to take some liquid. It was funny. We got out of the hospital pretty quick.

I only got lost 2x on the way back home. We made good time. When we got home I got Noah fed and meds given. Then the therapist called. As I was talking to her Noah was playing and he pushed over the vacuum. It fell and lid up his belly. I knew...instantly I knew. I ran over while on the phone still lifted up his shirt and saw the gtube and groovy tubie laying on the floor, balloon inflated and all. I then looked over and milk is spraying out of the huge hole in my babys belly. I screamed into the phone"S***!!!!!" I am not proud, it is what it is, it just came out. I hung up the phone dialed Paul and put him on speaker.

From there while holding my hand over his belly I screamed for Trin to get the syringe upstairs that I needed to deflate and inflate the balloon. I called for Cherry to get an empty cup and cup of water. I deflated the balloon got the lube(screaming wheres the KY JELLY WHERE IS IT??? Sorry neighbors) put it on there and then tried to put the tube back in but it didnt fit. I screamed for Trin to grab the new button. She brought it and after applying pressure I got it in there. It took about 15 mins to stop shaking. I ask Noah how many gray hairs and wrinkles he gave mommy and how he owed me a kiss and he crawled over and kissed me and then I said I needed one more and he did, lol.

Now lets get to some cuteness to make us all smile :)

Be blessed

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