Saturday, February 6, 2010
Faith's 1st Birthday!!!
Yesterday was Faith's first birthday. Usually this occasion is marked by a party with all the friends and families and a look back on the very first year of your child's life. Paul and I only had one recollection. It was when we got the email saying that a baby needed a family. The email that changed our lives and put us on a journey to another country and mounds of paperwork, court hearings, apostillings and homestudys.
I began to think about Faith's birthmom. I thank God for her and her choice to give our daughter life. I wonder what she pondered, if anything, yesterday. Did she think about how one year ago that day she was rushed to the hospital to have her child 13/14 weeks early? Did she know something was wrong? Was she excited to have a child? Was she young or older? Single, married, widowed, abused?
Being a mom I know that on my kids first birthdays I was so happy to celebrate their life yet sad it had gone so fast. I wonder if her days went fast or if to her time stood still. I always cry on my kids birthdays too, did she cry? Her cries would be much different than mine. Mine are of joyful times remembered and a look back at how much my little ones had changed. Looking through all the pictures and remembering those moments. She doesnt have any pictures to remember all the accomplishments Faith had made through out the year.
I wonder if she knows that Faith has a mom and dad trying very hard to adopt her. Does she know her daughter has a family that wants Faith? Does she know her daughter just sat up for the first time last month, or that she recently got hearing aids and loves listening to music? Does she know where the orphanage is and passes by it during her day? I just wonder what she thought about yesterday on the first birthday of our daughter.
I never use to be a fan of open adoption. I felt like it was an intrusion. I was suffering with infertility so the very last thing I wanted was to have a child and have another mother come in and be a part of that. This whole adoption experience has changed me. I dont know if it is because I have children now or that I am older. I wish very much to meet Faith's birthmother. To know all about her. To let her see that my husband and I are good people that only want the best for our daughter. I want her to know where Faith will be living and that she has sisters. I want her to know if she ever had any more children that needed a home we would be open to that. I think my views have changed because I am not so selfish now. I know that it would be best for Faith to know all she can about who she is.
Thank you for giving our daughter life. I pray that God blesses you. Words can not express how much I owe to you or how very much I thank you for giving us our daughter. When she is home her name will be Irina(meaning peace) Faith. We wanted to keep her Russian heritage so I spelled Irina the Russian way. We will probably always call her Faith. She has 4 older sisters.
My husband and I have been married 10 years and are very much in love. Faith will have a wonderful church family who already pray for and love her. We have a strong faith in God and our daughter will be brought up to love the Lord with all her heart. She will receive the best medical care and all her needs will be met. I doubt she will ever get put down.
I held all my babies for the first year of their life all the time. I was teased about it too but they are all well adjusted children. You dont have to worry about her being hungry or cold. I will feed her and make sure she is always warm. When she cries know that it wont be for long and I will hold her to calm her fears. I will rock her to sleep at night and sing worship music in her ears. I will always tell her how much I love her and how much you loved her. Her (adopted)father will always be there for her. He is a great dad. He will protect her and love her.
She will never be treated any differently because she is adopted. She will know where she came from and who she is. We are going to try to learn Russian and speak it in our home often. We will celebrate the Russian holidays as well as the American ones. We plan on spending some summers in the Ukraine so she wont be far from her birth country.
Thank you so much for Faith. Those words seem so silly, like I am thanking you for a perfume bottle or something. I have no words to tell you how much we thank you for choosing life.
I also want you to know how much God loves you. Romans 8:38-39 says
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Always remember that. Remember that you too have a hope and a future.