"Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it"

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

2 years home!

Oh how I love Gotcha day!! Gotcha day means that I have a son. That I was given the greatest gift anyone could ever give me. Noah is everything I ever wanted and more than I ever dreamed. We got him at 3 months olds not able to do anything. His hands clenched in fists and laying at his head unable to lay by his sides. He was basically a newborn. We were told he would be a vegetable, he would not live long. We came home to 25 specialists. We spent 4 days a week every week at Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh.

We learned his heart was good. He was severely delayed, no clue on his future, a hyperactive gag, a sub mucus cleft palate making us have one more specialist we then needed to see, no suck, possible swallowing problem, reflux. We were introduced to ECI and had PT, OT, NT, DV and another specialist they could give us. 2x a week each therapy every week. Then the vomit started and the eating by mouth stopped. A gtube was given and we now were thrown into the medical supply company world. IV poles, feed bags, tubes, extensions, ferral valves, gauze and groovy tubies.

Most days early on I felt like his nurse. Bonding was not immediate like I thought. I was terrified most days I would wake up and he would no longer be with us. I was scared he would never know I was his mom. After the gtube more vomit came. 10x a day at least and always like 10 oz or more. It was hard. Really really hard. After taking a vacation with him and spending days in the hospital sitting and praying by his side I knew not only did I like him, I loved him and would die for him. We were bonded for life. From then on we were inseparable.

Things didnt get easier medically. He still needed to see doctors almost daily, therapy was still 2x a week but with all the therapist it was more like 4x a week and some days he had therapy 4 hours of more. Soon the nurses came. That was....an experience. We will leave it at that. Wonderful friends helped me pick the right nurses and fire the wrong ones. Boy were there a lot of wrong ones.

Every holiday was spent in the hospital. His first Christmas was the worst. He was hospitalized Christmas day  and we were told to take his gtube out and just "let him go". They say it as if it is the right thing to do. They say it with no emotion as if they were speaking of the weather. They say it is because they never have met a trisomy 8 adult. So I am suppose to starve my littlest love to death because it will be harder if he dies on his own later in life. That was the worst time in my life. We didnt listen, we prayed, hundreds if not thousands of people circled my love in prayer and he recovered.

The day before his first birthday the doctors wanted him to have major surgery to take his esophagus detatch it from his stomach and put it somewhere else.  He would never eat by mouth ever. Never would he enjoy his birthday cake, or the cold feeling of ice cream, he would never sit down with his family to have a meal, he would never be able to eat his wedding cake. I refused.

Our adoption was finalized and we moved to Texas. God healed Noah of pretty much everything. I wouldnt be surprised if we got another genetic test and it said his Trisomy 8 was gone, impossible but not for God.
Now he eats everything in site, he laughs, he makes truck sounds, he calls for his dad, he smacks his sisters, gives kisses, loves dogs and trucks and planes he is a typical 2 year old boy. He is loved and adored by all who meet him.

2 years. I can't believe its been that long and yet I cant believe at one time he wasnt here in my arms. You know I read a quote that says You havent lived until you have done something for someone who can not repay you. His birthmom did just that. As much as I want to repay her and make it all okay for her I can not.  So I will pray for her that God blesses her.

So 2 years later we celebrate while one mother mourns. Adoption always comes at a price. So celebrate with us and pray with us for his birthmama. Thank you for carrying us through the last two years. We are so grateful.


Be blessed


  1. Ashlee, what a blessed little boy that you choose life for him. You are an inspiration to us other medical moms.

  2. Wow, it's hard to believe it's been that long! He is so cute & so blessed to have parents like you 2 to fight for him.

  3. It has been a crazy two years but Noah has been blessed with such a great family. He is a lucky little boy just as you feel blessed to have been given Noah.